Buying Carbon Credits

Hat Tip: junkscience.com

In the spirit of being a good neighbor, I've decided to offer a needed service for all of the believers in human-caused global warming. That's right, step right up, folks, I'm going to be selling carbon credits to those who want to assuage their guilt about heating up the planet with their SUVs.

For those of you not familiar with carbon credits, people who don't want to cut back on their use of fossil fuels just pay someone else to cut back, much the same way you might pay someone to eat healthy foods for you so you can eat anything you want.

My gimmick is that I'm offering $100 carbon credits for only $89 each. If you buy carbon credits from Al Gore, you'll have to pay the full retail price. But if you send your money directly to me, you'll receive an official certificate for $100 in carbon credits for every $89 you send.

OK. Let's be honest here. I do not have the honor or the ethics of Mr. Fogle here. I will gladly accept any and all money you wish to send to me to offset your carbon footprint. I am a big proponent of air powered water transport and for every $5 you send me I'll gladly drink one beer thereby consuming the CO2 and eliminating it from the atmosphere. For $10 I'll drink the beer on the boat for double the benefit.

Anyone skilled in understanding the conversion of CO2 to methane need not apply.

Yes methane is a greenhouse gas but it has not yet been endorsed by the Democratic National Committee and therefore is exempt from regulation at this time.